Postcoital dysphoria. While many think that a romp in the sack can leave us feeling refreshed and content, studies have shown that this may not always be the case. Postcoital dysphoria is when a person experiences feelings of melancholy, anxiety, agitation or aggression after sex — it’s psychological, not physiological. Many people with postcoital dysphoria may showcase strong feelings of anxiety from five minutes to two hours after intercourse.
Research. In 2015, an online survey of 230 female college students revealed that almost half of them (46 percent) have experienced postcoital dysphoria — or post-sex blues — at least once in their lives. What’s more, the research, which was published in the journal Sexual Medicine, found that the women experienced postcoital dysphoria symptoms “a few times” in the past month before participating in the poll. Symptoms of the phenomenon include: tearfulness, feelings of depression or sadness, restlessness, aggression and anxiety.
More research. According to a study published in the International Journal of Sexual Health, many women experience postcoital dysphoria after engaging in intercourse. The study, which surveyed over 200 young women, found that one in three reported feeling a serious case of the after-sex blues. The women claimed to feel sadness after sex, even if it was satisfactory. This begs the question: Why?
Why it happens. Many women tend to associate the act of sexual intercourse with love, intimacy and other emotions. Having sex when these feelings are not a factor can easily result in postcoital dysphoria. Certain psychological and social factors can also play into this phenomenon, however. For example, having a one-night stand may cause a woman to experience feelings of regret after the fact.
Why it happens. Other circumstances, such as engaging in intercourse with an ex or former fling, can also lead to feeling depressed and regretful (for obvious reasons). Experts also suggest that factors such as religious beliefs and upbringing can play a role in developing these negative post-sex feelings. Not to mention, issues such as low self-esteem and confidence also raise the chances of an individual feeling blue after the deed.
Why it happens. For some of us, the thrill of intimacy with your partner could so intense during sex that breaking the connection afterward could be too overwhelming. On the other hand, being in bed after sex could be one of the only times you feel vulnerable or safe enough to express feelings of anxiety about the other things that are going on in your life. Alternately, some experts speculate the rush of hormones that flood your body during intercourse could be to blame.
Is orgasming to blame? Are your orgasms inducing your tears of sadness? Some experts seem to think so. Indeed, some researchers blame postcoital dysphoria on the hormones released at orgasm. However, that doesn’t really explain why it only happens occasionally and only to certain people.
It’s normal. If you suffer from post-sex blues, don’t worry: It’s totally normal! Obviously, lots of people experience this — men and women — and it’s typically no big deal. If you genuinely feel like you’re sad for no real reason at all, don’t worry about it. Embrace the feels.
It’s connected to childhood sexual abuse. Some experts are investigating the correlation between childhood sexual abuse and postcoital dysphoria in adulthood, the Huffington Post reports. A study published in the International Journal of Sexual Health found that lifetime prevalence of postcoital dysphoria was “correlated with reports of childhood sexual abuse.” However, more research needs to be done on the subject.
The women behind the condition. Laura Summer, 28, spoke to the Daily Mail about her experience with post-sex blues. "In the moments afterwards, there are times when we’ll be having a cuddle and I’ll dissolve into tears,” she said. "Sometimes the feelings pass within a few hours. But if we’ve had sex at bedtime, the feeling can extend to morning and I wake up still feeling sad."
The women behind the condition. For Laura, low self-confidence plays a big part in her feeling emotional after sex. "Like every woman, there are days when I look in the mirror and feel good about myself and days when all I see are stretch marks and fat. Sometimes, Ben [her husband] overwhelms me with compliments while we’re making love and I feel like a film star, only to experience a huge crash when it’s over."
The men behind the condition. We spoke to a man who wanted to remain anonymous about his experience with post-sex blues. We’ll refer to him as “Danny." He told us: “I’m traditionally a ‘man’s man’ so it’s sort of bizarre even to me that I get really emotional after sex. I’ve cried before, but no one has ever actually seen it. I always make sure to leave.”
The men behind the condition. Danny added that sometimes he avoids sex altogether. “Sometimes it’s just better to not have sex, as I don’t like triggering those dark feelings. It just puts me in a mood, and ruins the rest of the day. It sucks.”
What you can do. Like we said, crying after sex is totally normal. However, if crying after sex happens to you on the regular, there are things you can do to avoid the, um, awkwardness. Explain to your partner that this is just something that happens after sex, and it has nothing to do with them or their performance. Also, keep some tissues around!
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