Pain Is Pleasure: Why We Actually Like It Rough

Plenty of people like to mix a little bit of pain with their pleasure in the bedroom.  But why?  Why do we enjoy being choked and smacked and pushed around while doing the deed?  Why are we turned on by pain while in the midst of a steamy sex sesh?  We did the research, and the results are like a smack in the face.... a smack that you might even enjoy. Here's why we like it rough.

Do you like to mix pain with pleasure?  Comment and let us know!

A lot of us do it. According to a study conducted by the University of North Texas, about 57 percent of women enjoy rough sex.

Do you like it rough? From getting choked to being whipped, there are many painful acts that are also major sexual turn-ons.

Bondage used to be bad. For over a century, those who engaged in bondage and beatings as forms of sexual pleasure were assumed to be mentally ill.

Within the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder, S&M has a very specific definition. Though highly clinical in language, the message is this: it's not considered a disorder for all who practice it, but if a person feels uncomfortable about their relationship with S&M, then it may be considered a disorder. “The APA has made it clear that being kinky is not a mental disorder,” says Susan Wright, who is the spokesperson for the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.

It's normal. Today, plenty of people welcome S&M practices into their bedroom. It is nowhere near as taboo as it used to be, thankfully.

So while we now know that liking it a little rough (or very rough) is quite common, it's time to ask why. Why could anyone ever want to be smacked across the face? And like it? Why?

The experts know best. "Most women who are into rough sex are into it for a very simple reason: It turns them on," says relationship sex therapist Stephen Snyder, M.D.

According to psychologists, a man's strength is an essential difference between the two sexes. This is why so many women find it attractive when a man exerts his strength and dominance over her.

Sexual arousal, in general, increases our tolerance for pain. This can lead us to tolerate more pain while we are doing the deed.

It's all connected. Love, sex and pain trigger similar chemical reactions within our bodies.

It's science. Our brains release the same endorphins when we experience something painful that we do when we experience something pleasurable. So, we often desire both stimulants at the same time.

Blame it on society. The adult film industry also has something to do with it. From light hair pulling to more substantial painful acts like biting and slapping, you'll see it all. With plenty of people watching these films, it's easy to try to mirror these acts.

Being scared arouses us. When we're scared, our bodies enter a state of heightened arousal. Adding a sexual component to this arousal can be very, well—arousing.

It's the urgency. The urgency factor associated with some rough lovin' is also part of what makes it so exciting and desirable. Nobody wants boring, vanilla sex. Getting rough is a great way to spice things up.

Being naughty feels sexy. Plenty of women feel empowered by the thought that they're naughty. This increases confidence in the bedroom, and can make for some pretty great sex.