Sex is hardly a subject of "what you see is what you get." Sex is more of a barely navigatable disarray of tunnels. Down one tunnel, you've got vanilla sex. Down another, you've got BDSM. They're different, sure, but they're more or less comprehensible. Down some of the other, more twisting tunnels are various fetishes that you probably never even knew existed; fetishes that might make you even wonder how they could constitute as fetishes in the first place. So if you think you had a generally decent grasp on sex, you ain't seen nothing yet. These tunnels just more and more twisted the deeper you go. Keep reading to learn about the most awkward fetishes people have.
How awkward… We’ve all got that one thing. If we’ve ever mentioned it other people, it’s usually something they talk about behind our backs. It’s different and unusual, so it makes sense. But there are other things we keep hidden, saved only for a chosen few we’re willing to get naked with.
Climacophilia. There’s nothing more awkward (or dangerous, for that matter) than falling down the stairs. If you’re around a climacophiliac, however, you’re in luck. These people aren’t amused by the sight of someone falling down stairs like some crappy friends might be, they’re aroused by it.
Flatulophilia. Though these people aren’t aroused by cheese, they are, however, aroused when some cuts the cheese. Naked bodies don’t do it for them. Being touched doesn’t either. Just farts. That’s all they want and all they need. Farts.
Psellismophilia. Some people are attracted to people who are smooth talkers, but those with psellismophilia prefer the opposite. They prefer someone who actually has trouble with their words. They get turned on by people who stutter.
Kleptolagnia. These folks love to steal. But no, that’s not at all. It turns them on. Maybe it’s the idea of dipping your hand into someone’s back pocket (to steal their wallet) that gets them going. They love the rush and the thrill of robbing someone.
Autozoophilia. Have you ever wanted to be an animal? How about being turned on by the idea of being an animal? Well, that’s precisely what this is. That book series, “Animorphs,” that you used to love as a kid aren’t quite as innocent as they seemed.
Nebulophilia. There’s nothing more sexy than the cool and mysterious type. But people with nebulophilia take those features in somewhat of a different direction. In short, they like fog. Which is mysterious. Because it’s fog.
Agalmatophilia. People can just be a lot to handle sometimes, which is why people with agalmatophilia might have the right idea. Instead of falling in love with someone with a pulse, they go with someone who isn’t even a someone to begin with. Inanimate sex objects for the win!
Dendrophilia. Tree huggers are one thing, but dendrophiliacs are something else entirely. Not only do they want to save the trees, they want to make sweet, sweet love to them. When everyone else is barking up the wrong tree, they’re jerking off the right one.
Macrophilia. Some people like to have sex. But some people like the idea of going one step further. It’s one thing to want to put your penis is a hole, but it’s something else entirely to want to put your entire body into hole. This fetish is all about making love to giants.
Psychrophilia. When you’re really horny, it’s not unusual to feel a chill or a tingle traveling through your body. For these folks, the only reason there’s a chill involved with their arousal is because they love the cold. The more freezing they are, the more ready there are to get it on.
Knismolagnia. You know what’s not sexy? Getting tickled. For some people, though, that’s not the case. These ladies and gentlemen get off when someone tickles, despite the fact that getting tickled is probably the worst kind of torture that exists.
You. What do you think of these fetishes? Are they awkward in your book? Let us know.
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