Sex is kind of like the weather. Unpredictable. Volatile. Beautiful. Sometimes even dreadful. One day it could be pouring rain, and the next the sun peeks out from behind the clouds just enough so that you get a nice tan. A lot of different variables determine how good the weather is. Sex is the same way. It really all depends on you and the other person involved. But what if the other person is actually numerous people? Things can get out of hand really quickly, and for these people, that's exactly what happened.
Ouch. Over on YourTango, Aly Walansky compiled a list of some of the most shocking orgy sex mishaps you can find on the Internet. Some of these will make you squirm. Some of these will bring tears to your eyes because they are.. just that uncomfortable. And some of these might have you locking yourself in your room for the rest of your life, avoiding the thought of group sex forever!
Numbing. You might want to disclose every detail that could be pertinent to your sexual partners before the sex begins right? That’s a given. Well Walanksky explains the plight of some who certainly didn’t think about that first… She reports from an anonymous woman, “A guy in our circle orgy had numbing cream on his d*ck so he would last longer. Wish he would have mentioned it before I put my mouth there…”
Wow. Over on Tenor, Walansky found a story of a pupil who found someone familiar had turned up to their sex party. According to Walanksy the person explains, “I was at a sex club and my old professor ended up a part of my orgy. Trust em when I say he was NOT that professor I had a crush on.” Ugh.. that sounds like this person was in for a really uncomfortable lecture the next morning. *Awkward*
Watching. Group sex is all about letting loose and getting into the spirit of what’s going on. But one person on Popkey had an observer in their group. Walanksky explains, “I don’t think there can be a worse orgy unless there is someone who is not participating. Being in an orgy and watching a person who is just watching is creepy.” It’s like.. take off your pants and get involved. This isn’t a private skin flick just for you, dude…
Doctor. You really never want to have medical professionals involved in the group sex. Unless they’re taking their clothes off too. But Walansky describes a pretty gruesome scene where things got out of hand… She writes, “I was at an orgy once and one of the young ladies started yelling in pain. Turns out the guy on top of her pulled out and instead of giving her a facial, he squirted in her eye. Sadly, the same girl… had ANOTHER guy lose the condom inside after he finished, tried to fit it out, and scratched the inside of her vagina.”
Learning. If we’ve learned anything from these stories, it’s always make sure the sex is consensual, make sure the condom is snug and secure (and won’t fall off and get lost inside someone’s vagina), and make sure you let someone know if you’ve smeared numbing cream all over your penis before they perform oral sex on you. And honestly, prepare yourself for what could be a super fun experience! Or an experience that could leave your throat and lips numb to the touch…
Reddit. People over on Reddit talked about their sexual nightmares that they hoped never came true, and honestly, some of these have us afraid as well! User RentonBoi wrote, “Well when I was 6 or 7 I had a sex dream and Chucky from Child's Play just like pops up out of nowhere.” Yeah, we think that’s enough to scare you whether you’re 6, 16, or 60.
User Anglaceandwhiskey. “Sometimes I have sex dreams about my exes that turn into nightmares. The dreams generally start with me having sex with my SO. Then suddenly, I glance back during doggie and see one of my exes. I feel disgusted and horrified and immediately stop. We end up arguing and I wake up feeling sick to my stomach, then massively relieved it was a dream.”
Anonymous user. “I have (I know this is ask men, and I'm a woman, sorry). There are the typical "attack" ones from past abuse, which are normal IMO, and to be expected. But a few weeks ago I had a sex dream about a guy I am SO not attracted to, but who keeps pursuing me. It was awful and nightmarish to be having sex with someone who repulses you. But kinda funny, now.”
User gregbo24. “I've had very similar dreams, and somewhat often (every other week or so). My reaction is different depending on the dream, some I "remember" and bail, but in others, I will knowingly continue in the action. My most recent was a few nights ago, and I remember actually hiding from my wife to get with the girl (an ex-girlfriend too...). I do not have any desire to cheat on her, but part of me really worries about it because it isn't like I've really had a big opportunity, what if I really do screw up…?”
User Aldairion. “It was a vivid nightmare involving sex, but I wasn't the one having it. The night of my girlfriend breaking up with me, I had a dream about watching her have sex with some other guy, and her telling me that it's not a big deal and that I won't understand.”
User bear-knuckle. “I rarely have sexual dreams. When I do, almost without exception, my girlfriend does not exist in the dream universe. Every once in a while, she starts existing midway through sex with this other woman, and I'm immediately struck with the full force of guilt and horror. Waking up is such a relief.”
Anonymous user. “Well, I had one last night (that recurs on occasion) where I try to get frisky with a hot woman (always the same) and then she becomes the devil (but not your normal everyday devil - think House of the Dead characters) and is trying to suck me into some demented underworld.”
You. What are some of the weirdest encounters you’ve had when it comes to group sex? Are you down to get a little freaky naughty with a few other people in the mix? Or do you prefer when it’s just you and one partner? Sometimes three is company. But sometimes three is only just the beginning… Share all with us in the comments section below. Come on! We don’t bite. Unless you ask us to.
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