So, Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Always Orgasm During Sex— Is This Normal?

It’s no secret that women don’t always orgasm during PIV sex. But is the same true for men? Apparently. Over on Reddit, one curious female user recently posed the question: "Men in long term relationships, do you orgasm EVERY TIME you have intercourse with your SO?” The consensus? No, they most certainly don’t. The question then is: why? Read on below as 15 men share their own experiences with the phenomenon.

User “speed58.” "No, sometimes, after she comes, I'm done. And I'm completely fine. There's a kind of empathic pleasure in her orgasm. I get to cuddle after and enjoy her afterglow. Sex can be a lot of work; sometimes I'm lazy. The thing is, usually my arousal will peak at the same time as I come. But sometimes it will peak before and I know it's going to take a lot of work to get back there. Sometimes it peaks when she comes and that's it, I lose interest for myself."

User “nolotusnotes.” "I've had amazing sex with my long-term SO that didn't end in my climaxing. I didn't care. I just wanted to jack-hammer her into joy. Mission(ary) accomplished! Plus, a lot of other different positions. So, to conclude, a man can absolutely have a rocking sex session and not climax. It happens and it has absolutely nothing to do with his love for you."

User “alittlebirdy1.” "Married twenty years. Almost always orgasm, but every now and then (especially if I've been fighting orgasm back, or if, say, the kids are being especially loud in the next room), I may not get there. That's okay. Sometimes, it misfires. Such is life."

User “BoldnessReigns.” "Definitely not every time. Especially if its the second (or third) time in a day, but sometimes even the first. It has nothing to do with not being turned on, more just your body is tired. Men are not machines, despite popular thinking, we can't just have sex all the time, and we can't just come all the time no matter what."

User “TheBlankVerseKit.” "Totally happens with me and the gf. Sometimes I just don't c*m. Doesn't mean anything, and doesn't mean that I didn't want to have sex or anything like that. Really no different from normal sex except I don't c*m."

User “Rabiesalad.” "Nope, I hardly ever get off from intercourse. It has been the same with all partners. There are only a few positions that work for me and I can't really be doing any of the work... for example, I can happily keep up missionary for 10 min but I will never ever get off from missionary.”

User “sheepsix.” "If I have too much to drink I generally don't reach orgasm. I'll get tired and my girlfriend will show signs of having enough so we'll just hold each other. After two years I think she's figured out that this is why I often don't drink at all on weekends."

User “TALL_LA_BULL.” "This is a natural part of many men's sexuality. The body has natural rhythms, ebbs, and flows. Natural systems are all like this--even perfectly healthy systems iterate over time.”

Anonymous. "Every time? Hell no. Sh*t, I think I c*m like 60-70% of the time with my SO. Of those 30-40% I don't come, 90% of the time she does and it becomes painful for her after and I can't finish before it becomes too bad. The other 10% I just can't finish and I just give up after awhile because I figure it'll start hurting her eventually.

None of that means the sex is bad, or that I didn't enjoy it. Sometimes it just happens."

User “main_enigma.” "There were times I wasn't even in the mood for it but I'd eat the sh*t out of her and I'd still end up having fun after she comes. Sex for us men isn't really that complicated. Half the fun of sex for us is seeing the pleasure we give.”

User “leppeles.” "50-60% of the time. And I'm not even in a long-term relationship, just a fwb. Why? The thing is if I don't c*m, just stop when she's done enough, the next round can come sooner. So what I basically do is sacrifice a few minutes from the first round (which would be necessary for me to c*m) in order to gain a full second round very soon. And I totally like it this way."

User “1337syntaX.” "I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years and we have sex like 3-5 times a week usually, but if it's been multiple days in a row sometimes it's hard for me to finish, especially if there isn't so much foreplay. Sometimes I need to rest for a little and come back to it later. If I jerked off that day or the day before it could also affect things…"

User “help1216.” "I don't come every time. I don't have a low sex drive but for whatever reason I can generally only come once a day, and if I have sex two days in a row I only come maybe 75% of the time on the second day. No idea why this is, it's just how my body works. My gf and I still have great sex 4 to 5 times a week, even if I don't come. We're not self conscious about it, it's just how I am and doesn't negatively effect my sex life at all. Don't freak out about this at all."

User “cliftonmason1.” "99% of the time for me. The very rare occasions I don't is when I stop myself from coming so I can last longer but my d*ck gets pissed off sometimes and loses sensitivity."

User “LT19Alpha.” "I am in a long term relationship and I c*m I would say 99% of the time. In the extremely few times my d*ck doesn't work, we change positions for something more visual for me and that solves it. "