Signs That Your Oral Sex Game Needs Serious Help

The general opinion about going down on a guy is that's simple enough. You open wide, you place the penis into your mouth and you bob your head up and down whilst applying a blend of suction and sucking. Voila. Head. But, truth be told, giving head is apparently something of a challenge for some people. These particular failures may not see it that way, but when you take a guy's opinion into consideration, you'll find that not everyone is quite as skilled at sucking d*ck as they may have believed.  Keep reading to discover the signs that your head game needs serious help.

Stop while you’re ahead. Listen. There’s nothing wrong with admitting failure. The first part in fixing a problem is acknowledging that there’s a problem in the first place. So if you want to improve your situation (in this case, your situation is referring to your blow job skills), you’ll need to accept the fact that you’re imperfect and take the advice that’s freely being handed to you.

Recognizing your flaws. Now, sucking on a penis is serious business. If you’re not skilled at, the League of Fellatio Recipients (LFR) will promptly ban you from any and all fellating-friendly scenarios. So, if you want this to not happen and are willing to embrace your flaws in order to fix them, let’s focus on the signs that you’ve got a problem.

Razormouth. When you blow a guy, the last thing you even want to consider bringing into the picture is your teeth. Yes, they’re lovely. Have you had them whitened lately? It shows. But just because they’re lovely and capable and regularly brushed doesn’t mean they ought to be incorporated into oral sex. The only thing they bring is pain.

Right here, right now. When you suck a D, you only suck the D. Your hands don’t do utilize the rest of his body (let alone his penis), you don’t switch it up at all, your tongue doesn’t gravitate anywhere other than his wiener… It’s all very dull and routine, and this is a horrible way to get on a penis’ good side.

Advice. OK, so obviously no one wants to be talked down to. However, if a guy is merely trying to tell you what he likes to make your job easier and to make him feel even better, why not listen? This isn’t isn’t mansplaining, it’s just a man explaining what he likes. When you don’t take this kind of advice, everyone loses.

Bored to death. When you blow a guy, you seem like it’s putting you to sleep. Instead of channeling your inner adult film star (everyone’s got one of those, right?), you channel yourself when you were asleep the night before. Not only does this make the oral less pleasant, it’s pretty much a turn-off and may result in SFP (Sudden Flaccid Penis).

We need to talk… If the guy you’re blowing mentions something after about how mediocre your BJ is, then sure, he’s a f*cking a**hole. But it still doesn’t change the fact that you’re a mediocre d*ck-sucker. No matter how pissed off or upset this makes you, you’ve still got a mess on your hands (and no, not that mess).

Ow. If at any point the guy whose penis you’re sucking says the word, “Ow,” you’re doing something wrong. Sure, mistakes happen and teeth accidentally work their way into BJs whether we want them to or not (for the record, we never want them to), but when it’s consistent, you need to reevaluate your sucking skills before it’s too late (but don’t actually worry, it’ll never be too late).