How to Have an Orgasm Every Time, According to Science

There's a blow-your-mind climax in your future tonight, and every night, if you use these pleasure-boosting, foolproof, research-backed strategies for how to have an orgasm.

1. Tune in to your body.

Distracting thoughts are the number-one reason why women have difficulty reaching orgasm, says Vanessa Marin, a certified sex therapist and the founder of Finishing School, an online orgasm course for women.  "We multitask so much these days that we have a hard time being fully in the moment, even during sex," she says. And nothing kills an orgasm faster than thinking about some big meeting at work or an argument you had with your sister.

It makes sense, then, that women who are better able to tune out distractions are able to have an orgasm and enjoy sex more than those who don't, according to research in the journal Sexual and Relationship Therapy. To stay focused and present, Marin recommends concentrating on one specific body part that's feeling great, like your neck or your breasts as they're being kissed. This will instantly redirect your mind back to the action, making it easier to intensify your arousal. Use this technique every time you catch your mind wandering. 

And, of course, practice makes perfect. Practice being mindful during sex by practicing mindful masturbation on your own. It can also help you learn what you like, so you can guide your partner in the right direction.

2. Breathe right.

No joke: Breathing like you do when you're turned on may help you have an orgasm. That's because your inhales and exhales can influence your emotions; it's why deep, slow breaths can calm you down when you're tense. Marin recommends experimenting with different types of breath.

For example: Taking short, quick breaths for a few minutes as you build up to your orgasm may boost your heart rate and heighten your sensations. Or switch to deeper breaths to help relax and tune in to the moment. 

3. Fantasize a little (or a lot).

If you're having trouble figuring out how to have an orgasm, cue up a go-to fantasy or think about the hottest sex you've ever had. Worrying about whether you'll finish depresses desire and dulls your body's response, which makes it harder to orgasm, Marin says. Using your imagination is proven to make your skin more sensitive, helping to bring on the O. 

Most important: Take the pressure off!

And if it's just not going to happen? No worries-you'll still get some major health benefits from having sex even if you don't O. Sit back, enjoy, and don't worry too much about having an orgasm. (That relaxation might ultimately help get you there too!)