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If the phrase "familiarity breeds contempt" rings true, going through all the same motions in the bedroom, time and time again, doesn't exactly help in the love department. Relationship experts recommend
keeping things spontaneous (whether that means trying a different time, place, or generally being more adventurous in bed) to avoid falling into a cycle of boring "duty" sex, but also to foster
healthy habits in a long-term relationship.
Below, we asked eight real women for their favorite sex moves, then consulted sex experts for their tips on how to upgrade your own go-to moves so they feel new and exciting. In short, it doesn't take a
Kama Sutra master to have better sex, it's really about breaking from habit, exploring the unknown, and enhancing what already works.
JULIA, 25, WRITER
FAVORITE POSITION: My favorite is upright, from behind—think steamy shower, bent over one leg up on the edge of the tub.
WHAT MAKES IT SO HOT: The running water and upright position make it feel urgent (in a good way), the angle is just right for me, and it's perfect for spontaneous, quick and dirty sex or taking your time (falling into bed for round two afterwards all clean and warm feels great). Also, this position always pulled double-duty for me and my boyfriend when we were long distance. I have many sexy memories of seeing him again after a long separation and immediately hopping in the shower together to wash off the airplane grime and enjoy a sweet reunion.
FUN PROP: I love a good unisex shower gel, like
Neutrogena Rainbath. It's perfectly musky and great for lathering each other up.
DANIELLE, 26, PHOTOGRAPHER
FAVORITE POSITION: We're in a spooning position, and he moves onto his knees behind me and continues thrusting from there.
WHAT MAKES IT SO HOT: Other than it making me come almost instantly, it's always a surprising move that helps us branch out from missionary. We often transition to doggy style or cowgirl after that.
FUN PROP: A little vibrator like the
Dame Fin, otherwise it's hard to reach my clit in this spot (it's usually not needed though).
ANA, 24, PUBLICIST
FAVORITE POSITION: I'm straddling him, reverse-cowgirl style, while he's propped up on his back in the bathtub and I'm bracing myself against the sides or the wall.
WHAT MAKES IT SO HOT: I love it because I get to take charge and control the angle, and the warm water helps us relax. It's also a nice change of pace from the routine, so usually we'll try it when we're on vacation (since no one actually wants to clean their bathtub at home). The ambience is really sexy since everything's candlelit and the water and soap naturally get everything going down there.
FUN PROP: Candles, bubbles, and bath oil. Just make sure you don't slip around too much when you're moving around (and prepare to get your knees a little bruised if you're trying it in a smaller space)!
MAYA, 26, EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT
FAVORITE POSITION: We're standing. I face my boyfriend and wrap my legs around his torso. He puts his hands beneath my butt and lifts me up and down while thrusting into me. I call it "The Claw."
WHAT MAKES IT SO HOT: I'm a very independent woman, but I occasionally love being dominated. My partner is in total control here—I don't have to do a thing! It may be a physically demanding position for him, but it makes me feel virtually weightless—and totally orgasmic.
FUN PROP: The Claw is even more fun when you're greased up, so slick yourselves down with Johnson's Baby Oil Gel beforehand. But practice it dry a few times first so you don't get hurt!
AKYNOS, 28, INTERNET SEX COLUMNIST/MODEL
FAVORITE POSITION: I'm flat on my back. He slides on top of me and—OK, I admit it! The position that always does it for me is missionary!
WHAT MAKES IT SO HOT: It may seem like a tame choice for a sex columnist, but I just love looking into a guy's eyes while we're having sex. And it's not like I just lie there—I love to grab his butt and draw him as deeply as I can inside of me so that I can feel every inch of him. I never get bored of climaxing like this. But men, be warned: If your mouth isn't all over my lips and neck, you're wasting my time!
FUN PROP: Try a little fresh air! When I was a teenager, I got it on with a guy on a rooftop in our neighborhood. I was so naive—I didn't think anyone would see us up there. But the news got back to my mother, and all hell broke loose. Still, it's a sexy thing to think back on...and I still love doing it outside.
MAJESTA, 28, NURSE'S ASSISTANT/ NANNY
FAVORITE POSITION: I lie on my back with my legs over my boyfriend's shoulders. He leans forward with his chest resting on the backs of my thighs and plunges in and out of me. I tend to make a lot of noise, so we refer to it as "The Scream Machine."
WHAT MAKES IT SO HOT: It allows for deeper penetration than almost any other position—and definitely leads to the most intense orgasms.
FUN PROPS: Strawberries, whipped cream, and champagne make for unbelievable foreplay. I suggest a hands-off policy while we eat, which my guy usually agrees to at first. But as he watches me sip champagne and pop cream-covered strawberries into my mouth, he goes crazy. By the time the last strawberry is gone, so are our clothes!
AFINITY, 26, ADMINISTRATIVE COORDINATOR
FAVORITE POSITION: My fiancé, Allen, and I kneel on the floor with a couch or bed in front of us to brace ourselves. He's behind me, and I spread my legs a little wider than his for balance. He penetrates me from behind. I nicknamed this "The Reverse Allen," because it's a variation on another amazing position he came up with. He's very creative!
WHAT MAKES IT SO HOT: It makes me feel like the sexiest woman on earth, because it pushes my chest out and pulls my stomach in so my body looks fantastic. And there are endless variations. During one recent quickie, I led Allen's hand to my hair so he could tug on it. It was such a huge turn-on that I climaxed within seconds.
FUN PROPS: I love sliding on stockings and sky-high heels before sex. Nothing looks hotter than when I'm wearing only these.
RACHEL, 27, FITNESS COACH
FAVORITE POSITION: I'm riding him while his legs are draped over the side of the bed and I'm leaning back slightly and arching my back.
WHAT MAKES IT SO HOT: I feel like a rockstar because my entire body's on display and I'll admit that it's always more engaging for me when I'm making eye contact with my boyfriend. He likes to brace himself against my shoulder or grab my chest when we're in the thick of it.
FUN PROPS: It's pretty simple, but I always go for a really lacy or sheer lingerie set, especially when we start out in this position. He either can't wait to get me out of them or I'll leave the top half rolled down around my waist for some peek-a-boo action.
Back in September, Emily Ratajkowski wrote an essay about women who are scrutinized for being serious, political, independent, and sexy. "[Women] shouldn't be weighed down with the responsibility of explaining our every move," she said. Her moves have included a big break in the "Blurred Lines" music video, a modeling career, and a collaboration with Planned Parenthood. It is also her second year posing for the LOVE Advent Calendar. "We shouldn't have to apologize for wanting attention either," she continued.
