How to apply the 'science of happiness'

By Liz Hoggard

Most of us began 2006 with good intentions to do things that would make us happier in our lives - and if we did not actually make New Year's resolutions, many of us hoped this would somehow be a better year for us than last.

Many of us have already abandoned our resolutions, others know they are unlikely to hold out.

We could just leave it to fate to determine how the year unfolds - or we could do something about it.

Being happy is good for us so we have no need to be embarrassed about making happiness a priority. And no one is more expert on what gives us pleasure than ourselves.

Authentic happiness comes from setting higher goals or standards, not from comparing oneself with others.

Scientists are beginning to identify the roots of positive emotions and are finding that a happy life is one created by the person concerned - a unique creation that cannot be copied from someone else's recipe.

The following tips are based on the latest research into the new "science of happiness".

Have one hour of totally uninterrupted conversation with your partner every week. In the best relationships, we constantly make a bid for each other's attention - it could be a kiss, a squeeze, a text message.

If you are single, call a friend you haven't spoken to in months. Friendship - fun, joy, mimicry, telling jokes - is an adult version of children's play, enabling us to develop valuable physical, social and mental skills.

Identify the hobby or activity that completely absorbs you, where you feel most yourself ("this is the real me") and time seems to stand still. Psychologists call this a "flow activity", and people record the highest level of gratification afterwards.

Be less of a perfectionist. People divide into two categories: "maximisers" and "satisfiers". The maximiser insists on looking at all the alternatives when out shopping before deciding what to buy.

The satisfier, on the other hand, says: "That's good enough, that'll do me." The maximiser is doomed to misery in the modern world, because there is so much choice.

Don't be a party wallflower. Self-absorption undermines happiness because it stops you from being brilliant at developing close relationships.

Think of the most confident person you know and ask yourself how they behave, what they say, then practise doing these things yourself. This is called modelling, and psychologists say successful people do it without realising.

Maintain eye contact, touch people (it releases the hormone oxytocin) and use changes in vocal pitch to make yourself sound more interesting.

Have a good laugh at least once a day. It increases the blood flow to the heart, jogs the muscles and provides an internal massage for all the organs. Having 100 to 200 belly laughs a day would be the equivalent of a high-impact workout and burning off 500 calories. On a bad day, give yourself a break. Switch off serious news and listen to a comedy station or CD of stand-up comedy.

Take half an hour of exercise three times a week and your general feeling of happiness will improve by 10 to 20 percent. Gardening, amateur dramatics, even vacuuming counts - anything that gets you moving.

Smile. People think you look more sincere, sociable - and attractive. And, yes, faking it can work as smiling actually releases feel-good chemicals (endorphins).

Be your own best friend. You would defend a friend to the hilt if others bitched about them, so do the same for yourself.

You can fight off your pessimistic inner voice (usually distorted thinking based on strict parents or teachers) by concentrating on what went right during the day. And if something embarrassing happens, regard it as temporary.

Optimists blame bad events on temporary downturns ("sometimes", "lately"). Of course, "reframing" (learning to identify and dispute automatic pessimistic thoughts) takes practice. Research shows it takes 21 days to create a new habit pathway in the brain.

Give yourself a treat, whether you think you deserve it or not, and really savour it. We all need animal pleasures - a hot bath, glass of wine, a massage. Or have sex. Touching and orgasm release endorphins.

Do a good turn for someone. scientists have proved altruism gives longer-lasting pleasure than a bar of chocolate or buying a new outfit. It triggers a cascade of positive effects, making us feel generous and capable.