10 Reasons To Get Some Erotica And Get Yourself Off STAT!

It's time to take your orgasm into your own hands.
Hey ladies! Masturbation is safe, fun and good for you.
OK, I know deep down you're asking, "why can't I just find a wonderful man with great sex skills and heart melting chemistry and boink like bunnies?" I know, I know.
But taking care of your own sexual needs will go a long way in taking pressure off yourself until that man of yours comes along. Plus, orgasms may help your broken heart heal and they're painkillers!
That's where erotica comes in ... I personally include erotica as part of my sex life while I am waiting for my Mr. Next to show up. Here are 10 reasons why:  

1. Easy enough, erotica turns me on, and I'm not alone. In 2011, $10 billion was pent on romance books by women in the U.S.

2. It feels just a bit naughty and as a natural-born rebel, I love that feeling.
3. It's becoming more socially acceptable for women to talk about and engage in solo sex. For grown up Catholic girls like me, I can still barely say the word "masturbation" but I have come to adore solo sex. After all, solo is the safest.
4. It can be pretty hot for men just thinking about a woman who thinks about sex. It gets hotter for you when it is hotter for him. You can't lose.
5. I sleep better after masturbating, especially after reading erotica.
6. I love to write my own erotica. One time my ex and I were serving jury duty together and in the waiting room, I wrote a short story. I passed my computer to him every few paragraphs. It was so fun watching his face as he read it.
7. No one knows me better than me. Even if I am with a great partner, it's my responsibility to make sure my sexual tank is full. I am a better lover when I love myself first.

8. Women's libido not withstanding, it's still hard for some women to openly talk about their lack of sexual satisfaction. Dabbling in erotica creates the opportunity for truth and conversation about sexual desire and pleasure.
9. Sex sells. When I embraced erotica and began to publish my short stories, my blog readership exploded and people began to spend money on the websites. Prosperity seems to follow great sex, a nice fringe benefit. Who knew?

10. There's nothing like the Big O. We should have as many as we want, whether we are single, married or anywhere in between.
Erotica is far more than a flight of fancy. Your very health and well being is at stake. I hope you will be inspired to do a little investigation for yourself, and you can start right here. Come visit me. I can't wait to see what you think.

You might also enjoy this video: "Why men love when you talk dirty and how to do it without being embarrassed."
Catherine Behan is a Dating, Sex and Intimacy Coach practicing in San Diego, CA. For a free 20 minute chat to explore your Sexual Confidence or lack thereof, click here.

Reasons Why I Love Erotica

Don't leave your sexual satisfaction in the hands of fate. Tune in and Turn on with Erotica.
In this day and age, Mick Jagger’s words are truer than ever.
”I can’t get no satisfaction” seems like an anthem to today’s women. As I wrote in my recent post here on Your Tango, successful women have a really hard time getting action in the bedroom.  Do Financially Successful Women Have Hotter Sex?
Why? It seems that the more successful a woman is, the more difficult it is for men to figure out how in the hell to relate to her.
I do know that once a relationship has reached a certain point, it takes effort on the part of both parties to make sure that romance and passion stay alive. Ironically, the hotter the chemistry in the beginning, the more a couple needs to prioritize keeping the sexual chemistry simmering.

If you are like many working women today, I can feel you rolling your eyes. ”Why should I have to work at keeping the chemistry going, I am already doing the lion’s share of the work in my home.” I know, I know but taking care of your own sexual needs will go a long way in taking pressure off that man of yours.
Being with a successful women is hard for guys and makes it hard to get hard, if you know what I mean. Starting to dabble with erotica will serve both of you beautifully.
Here are the top ten reasons I love erotica.
10. It turns me on and at 59, I still crave that warmth and physical thrill.
9. It feel just a bit naughty and as a natural born rebel, I love that feeling.
8. It is becoming more socially acceptable for women to talk about and engage in solo sex.
7. It can be pretty hot for my man just thinking about me thinking about sex.

6. I sleep better after solo sex and erotica, especially video always puts me in the mood.
5. I love to write erotica. One time my hubby and I were serving jury duty together and in the waiting room, I wrote a short story. I passed my computer to him every few paragraphs. It was SO fun watching his face as he read it.
4. No one knows me better than me. No matter how much love my hubby and I share, it is my responsibility to make sure my sexual tank is full.
3. Women’s lib not withstanding, it is still hard for some women to openly talk about their lack of sexual satisfation. Dabbling in erotica creates the opportunity for conversation and truth about your desires.

2. Sex sells and when I embraced erotica and began to publish my short stories, my blog readership exploded.

1. There’s nothing like the Big O and I plan on having as many of them as I can.
According to Psychology Today, Scientists are doing some cool research about women and sex. They are putting women in CAT scan machines and then allowing them to stimulate themselves to orgasm. What they are finding is astounding. The entire woman’s brain lights up during the Big O. Blood flows through the body and brings floods of oxygen and fabulous brain chemistry to play.
According to msnbc.msn.com, orgasm is a powerful pain-killer. "Oxytocin, a natural chemical in the body that surges before and during climax, gets some of the credit, along with a couple of other compounds like endorphins.

According to a study by Beverly Whipple, professor emeritus at Rutgers University and a famed sexologist and author, when women masturbated to orgasm “the pain tolerance threshold and pain detection threshold increased significantly by 74.6 percent and 106.7 percent respectively.”
Erotica is far more than a flight of fancy. Your very health and well being is at stake. I hope you will be inspired to do a little investigation for yourself and you can start right here. I will be adding an Erotica column to my blog in the near future…I can’t wait to see what you think!
Catherine Behan is a Dating, Sex and Intimacy Coach practicing in San Diego, CA. For a free 20 minute chat to explore your Sexual Confidence or lack thereof, click here.

The REAL Reason Your Guy Climaxes Wayyyy Too Fast

As the dynamics in your relationship change, the time in which he climaxes does, too.
We’ve heard some women state that they believe men who orgasm quickly are having lots of sex. How backwards is that? It’s actually just the opposite. One reason a man climaxes too quickly is because he’s excited, usually about a new sexual conquest.
Like women love new shoes, we love new sexual experiences. Don’t get us wrong: we love old sexual experiences, too, especially if it’s been a long time since our last visit. When you finally let us past the pearly gates, we have spent so much energy on the chase that once we arrive, the energy built up has to dispense and out it goes like a bomb.
Then you look at us and we look at you like, Oops, sorry... I’ll be ready next time. Give us a few seconds and we pray that we’ll be back before you change your mind.
As the dynamics in your relationship change, the time in which he climaxes does, too.
We’ve heard some women state that they believe men who orgasm quickly are having lots of sex. How backwards is that? It’s actually just the opposite. One reason a man climaxes too quickly is because he’s excited, usually about a new sexual conquest.

Like women love new shoes, we love new sexual experiences. Don’t get us wrong: we love old sexual experiences, too, especially if it’s been a long time since our last visit. When you finally let us past the pearly gates, we have spent so much energy on the chase that once we arrive, the energy built up has to dispense and out it goes like a bomb.
Then you look at us and we look at you like, Oops, sorry... I’ll be ready next time. Give us a few seconds and we pray that we’ll be back before you change your mind.
An unselfish man will control and hold his orgasm until you get yours to make sure you’re satisfied. With concentration, we can control our climax, but this usually requires some far-off thought. A selfish man is just going to get his and not be concerned about whether you get yours. This is a big clue to tell you if he’s about himself or about the relationship.

We do have some tricks to deal with this problem, though you might not like some of our solutions. We know how important it is to satisfy you, because if we don’t, our chances for return visits will be doomed. To make sure we’ll be good, some of us will call another girl over before we see you and sleep with her first so that we’ll be ready for you later.
Sorry to let this secret out of the bag, guys.

Why He's So Damn AFRAID Of Having His Butthole Fingered

They're locked in their own anal-fearing prison.
"You're an author?" my Tinder date asked me over a beer. Tech and I mutually agreed to be causal. He was tall, outdoorsy, handsome with dark eyes and a trimmed beard, but mildly shy.
"Yeah, I just published my book a few months ago. I'm writing a few articles now."
"What about?"
"I'm working on something called, 'The Anal Renaissance.'"
Tech and I hashed into a taboo discussion of prostate phobia.
"I've never tried ass play before," he admitted.
Within five minutes in my bedroom, the 6'2" lumbersexual was on his knees across my lavender comforter, face down, ass up, cheeks spread, shouting, "Rim me, you filthy slut!"
I'd become the Prostate Fairy, obligated to liberate straight males from the shackles of patriarchal mating and literally shove subliminal eroticism up their ass. I started with one finger and then worked up to two, but Tech wanted more.
I had two sex toys. One was a pink vibrator that was slightly less than six inches long. The other was called Mr. Dependable: a nine-inch purple dildo I bought at a Pure Romance party. I used it once to appease a guy with a voyeurism fetish and felt internally bruised for days afterwards.
"Let's use that one," Tech said, eyes eagerly darting for Mr. Dependable.
***

I decided to investigate prostate phobia: why are men so damn afraid of having their assholes touched?  I made a survey about anal stimulation: one for hetero men and one for women. I asked a series of questions about experience with variations giving and receiving anal stimulation.

I gave women an open-ended option to explain their thoughts on a man requesting ass play, and one for men to elaborate on their fears and insecurities with it. To ensure diversity, I posted the surveys on feminist and military pages. The reactions to the post were even more intriguing than the results.
I initially got a slew of feminists excited to participate. But once the admins caught wind of it, I was kicked out of the group.
"Feminism is about anal now? I think she was a pusher for Playboy or Hustler," one of the admins told a woman who was defending me.
While the Feminism! administrators were passive-aggressive, several veterans were outright aggressive. "She needs a good conservative pounding," one said. "I'll dislocate your ovaries," another chimed.
I had tampered with their grenade, igniting a deadly explosion of anger, trauma, and sexual confusion.
I managed to scrape 152 male participants and 208 female participants. Judging from conversations previously held with females, I expected the female responses to completely contradict the males, but their correspondence was eerily accurate.

Eighty-nine percent of the men had performed anal stimulation on a woman and 79 percent of women had received it. Only 59 percent of the men had received anal stimulation and 54 percent of women had performed it on a man. The most common anal stimulation received from males was a rim job at 38 percent, the only type of stimulation that didn't require penetration.

The male fear of penetration constantly shined through. Eighty-two percent of men were willing to perform anal fingering, but only 58 percent were willing to receive it.
Eighty-two percent of the women explained their thoughts on men requesting anal stimulation. Only 9 percent of the female participants said they would react negatively and 59 percent of them expressed enthusiasm for it. Eleven percent of them would suspect closeted homosexuality or bisexuality.

Compared to the women, the men were very shy about answering open-ended questions. Only 40 percent of them responded at all. Nearly half of those men said that fecal matter was their ultimate concern. However, all but two of those men had performed ass play on a woman.
Most of the men that claimed "poop" being a big concern had, at some point, had their tongue right where she pooped.
Despite the survey's anonymity, I question the honesty in responses. Eighty-six percent of the males knew that their prostate was one of their primary G-spots, yet a mere 37 percent had touched their own prostate.
Adolescence is never graceful. Our first steps are wobbly, full of stumbles and spills. Our first words are barely comprehendible. Our first kisses are sloppy and wet. The process of breaking sexual thresholds is far from sexy. It will be a long time until penetrating outgrows the feel of a grade-school science experiment.

But I think about all the times I've been shunned for my sexuality, dubbed a whore for being too promiscuous and unworthy of romance for my refusal to emulate false virtue. I constantly deal with men who want the best head of their life, but judge me for being able to give it. Even in my most intimate moments with a man, I'm alone.
As a woman, I've had to choose between ignoring the full effect of my carnal instincts and exploring them with the men who will abandon me. It wasn't until tapping into the forbidden grounds of the male anatomy that I realized that men are locked in their own prison.
I'm a penetrator — not because it pleasures me, but because his pleasure matters as much as mine. I don't believe in gender roles and I still carry an inkling of hope that lovers will someday be able to quit the games, the deceit, and the power plays.
I'm a penetrator because I want predators and prey to forfeit the hunt and become partners.
Check out Maggie's podcast on the subject of gender roles and sexuality.

How To Orgasm Using ONLY Your Brain (Yes, It IS Possible!)

The brain is the sexiest organ.
When I was an young (apparently horny) teenager, I could have orgasms without even touching myself.
I didn't know what was happening to my body, this tightening in my stomach and this low feeling flutter, but I knew it felt awesome.
It would happen while I watched particular sexy movies or read particularly sexy books.
Eventually as I matured, it stopped happening. It wasn't until I started having sex that I realized that as a child I had been a genius of orgasm by thought alone.

Seriously though, how great would it be to be able to teach yourself how to have a hot orgasm using just your brain meat? The mind literally boggles.
Apparently my fantasy is a reality for some VERY dedicated women.
In the 1980s Barbara Carrellas and a few of her friends were looking for a safe way to express their sexuality during the advent of the AIDS crisis.
Some people opted to practice safe sex, but Barbara took it a step further. She stopped having sex with other people altogether and started teaching herself how to orgasm using only her brain alone.
If you think this sounds like hokum, you're not alone. I was rolling my eyes at this story until I learned that curious researchers put her inside an MRI tube (presumably with her consent, lol) and asked her to think-orgasm. When she climaxed, the same sections of the brain that are activated during traditional orgasm were activated in her brain, too.

In other words, sign me up, dude. Sign me up.
Carrellas says that in order to orgasm just using your brain you need to do two very important things:
The first is to let go of guilt.
Uh, I don't know about you but I was raised Roman Catholic AND I'm an anxious person. Telling me to start "Letting go of guilt" is akin to telling a bird to stop using its beautiful wings.
But I digress. Let's say that you've managed to start living a life completely free of guilt.
What do you need to do next to orgasm using just your brain alone?
This is where it gets interesting.
Carrellas says that you work on "creating" an erogenous zone on your body. That's right, pick say, your left knee cap. Focus all of your sexual feelings on that kneecap. Eventually, with time practice and patience, you will be able to have an orgasm just calling up the sensations that have swept over this erogenous zone in the course of a day.

This sounds like a pretty awesome trick, and I believe that certain people who are willing to do the work can absolute
ly make themselves orgasm using only their brains. The human brain is remarkable and can do any number of awesome things.

That said, having an orgasm using just your brain seems like a pretty tough route to follow when you've got sex toys, safe sex, and even your own hand to rely on.
You know I'm not wrong.
But I bet you're still want to try it.

This Is What A $1 DILDO Looks Like

WHAT?!
European countries seem to have all the most amazing things in the world, and now they’ve added one more awesome and slightly confusing item to their list.
Discount UK retailer Poundland is now selling vibrating “bullets” (AKA vibrators) for only £1 ($1.22 US) in their stores, and it’s causing a bit of a “buzz” with their shoppers.
The vibrator comes handily packaged alongside lubricating gel and wet wipes, which is pretty handy and well thought-out, to be perfectly honest. For only about a dollar, they’re willing to give you pre- and after-care. That’s an incredible deal, as long as the product is worth it. 
WHAT?!
European countries seem to have all the most amazing things in the world, and now they’ve added one more awesome and slightly confusing item to their list.

Discount UK retailer Poundland is now selling vibrating “bullets” (AKA vibrators) for only £1 ($1.22 US) in their stores, and it’s causing a bit of a “buzz” with their shoppers.
The vibrator comes handily packaged alongside lubricating gel and wet wipes, which is pretty handy and well thought-out, to be perfectly honest. For only about a dollar, they’re willing to give you pre- and after-care. That’s an incredible deal, as long as the product is worth it. 
This recommendation comes from a woman who tests sex toys for a living, so that’s pretty high praise considering both the source and the price range. Hell, you can’t even get a burger for a dollar anymore, so getting a satisfying vibrator for that much is pretty astronomical and amazing. It actually costs less than the batteries you’ll have to buy to use the thing to begin with.

Poundland, while being what is possibly the best name ever for a sex toy store, is actually not a sex store. The discount retailer has only been selling some of these items since 2015, but they’re now attempting to expand the range of products they offer, which includes the sale of the cheap dildo and an accompanying c*ck ring, which can both be conveniently found in the health and beauty section of their store.

The “bullet” has become a top-shelf item by necessity rather than sales, as they hope to keep it safely out of the hands of children who may be shopping with their families there.
So the next time you visit the UK, don’t forget to stop at your nearby Poundland and pick up the “vibrating bullet.” And don’t worry if it breaks — it’s only a dollar.

7 Sex Positions That Can Actually RELIEVE Pain

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